Breakups. We’ve all been there. When a relationship ends, we’re usually left with a lot of anger, fear, sadness and self-doubt. And, as much as we want to move on, getting past that post-breakup slump can be challenging, to say the least. However, difficult as it may be, recovering from a painful breakup is totally possible. In fact, we can come out on the other side better than ever before! Keep reading to find out how.
Start Fresh
After a breakup, everything will remind you of your ex. And while grieving is healthy, you don’t need constant reminders of a past relationship. To that end, consider revamping your life and making a fresh start. This may sound radical, but it’s actually pretty simple. Tips like the following can help you gain a fresh perspective after a painful breakup.
- Get rid of those reminders. Go through your home and remove photos, gifts and other reminders of your ex. You could store these items, or donate them to charity; either way, keep them out of sight, and out of mind.
- Rearrange your life. Old habits and behaviors can slow the recovery process. Shake it up by rearranging your furniture, buying new linens, taking a different route to work, ordering takeout from different restaurants, and making other simple changes to your day-to-day life.
Online Breakup Tips
In today’s world, it can be hard to make a clean break from a romantic relationship. You may have agreed to go your separate ways in person, but what about online? Do you maintain a friendly relationship on Facebook and other social media sites? What about all those tagged photos and mutual friends? Never fear: navigate the waters of breaking up online with the pointers listed below:
- The big “unfriending.” Unless it was a short-term, casual relationship, unfriending your ex is probably the smartest move. After a breakup, there’s no reason for you to stay updated on your ex-s day-to-day life, and doing so will only cause pain and frustration. If cutting social media ties with an ex makes you uncomfortable, send a polite email explaining your position, then move on.
- The photo purge. While there’s nothing wrong with keeping photos for your personal collection, removing them from your online profiles is a great step in moving forward after a breakup.
- Mutual friends. How you choose to approach the mutual online friends situation is totally up to you; but remember, most sites have features that allow you to “hide” updates from certain friends, as well as prevent them from seeing your posts, photos and status updates.
- The “no peeking” rule. Once you’ve unfriended or unfollowed an ex, show some restraint by not looking at their profiles. Yes, it takes incredible willpower, but, when it comes to recovering from a painful breakup, the rewards are well worth the effort.
- Practicing discretion. Using social media to publicly hash out the details of your breakup is never a good idea. Vent to close friends, only, and refrain from bad-mouthing an ex online.
Avoid the Rebound
In some cases, rebound relationships work out; in others, they fail miserably. This happens because most of us seek rebound relationships simply because we’re lonely. Others, still, have suffered blows to their self-esteem, and are unwittingly seeking validation in a new partner. In any case, rebound relationships usually fail because we haven’t given ourselves time to grieve and recover. And while the recovery process may differ on an individual basis, you’ll probably know when the time is right to proceed with a new love interest.
When you are ready to start dating again, try not to be cynical. Every relationship is different, and there’s something to be learned from each and every one. According to columnist Jane Coopersmith, a crucial piece of relationship breakup advice is to acknowledge that you are deserving of love; by recognizing your worth, you’re one step closer to a more fulfilling life, complete with healthy relationships.
Get to Know Yourself
Who says being single has to be lonely and boring? In fact, one way to look at a breakup is that it can provide the time and energy to get to know yourself on a deeper level. When a relationship dissolves, tips like the following can help you on your path to self-discovery:
- Get physical. Work through those negative emotions with a good workout. Yoga can help you find your inner peace, while dance and cardio workouts can ease stress, tension and anxiety.
- Find a new hobby. Have you always wanted to try painting or pottery? How about joining a book club or taking ballet lessons? Now is the time to pursue your own happiness, so find what you love and make it a part of your life.
- Get comfortable in your new, single life. Take yourself out to dinner and a movie. Enjoy weekends to yourself, relaxing and pursuing your own interests. Reconnect with old friends and plan a night out on the town. These efforts will ease your transition into a new lifestyle, which will help promote a healthier, more productive post-breakup recovery.
Breakups can be devastating, to be sure. However, the relationship breakup advice provided here can help you heal in a healthy, productive manner. Good luck on moving forward with a happier, healthier life!
