If you’ve ever had your heart-broken, then you know what I’m talking about. We’ve all been to there – that awful, gray world of depression and loneliness where all the broken hearts go. You stay there for a while to keep replaying those happy memories you used to have but baby, you can’t stay there forever.
So how does one regain control of their life after having it turned upside down? As a self-proclaimed “hot mess” and huge believer in new beginnings, let me tell you how.
The first thing you need to do before you can begin doing anything, is address the problem: the asshole that ruined your life. This should usually happen after you (and by you I mean your friends) are sick and tired of those long weeks of your drunken tears and even worse, drunk texts wanting him back. Remember, even like an alcoholic or a heroin addict, the first step is: admitting you have a problem.
You need to really tell yourself that whoever guy this was, everything that he did to you to ruin your love life, is a real problem that you need to eliminate from your life. This, I find, is to be the hardest phase because this is when all the delusion needs to fade away for your own good: the truth hurts ladies, but it will set you free.
After you’ve rid yourself of that douchebaggery and negativity, now you can really give yourself some “you” time. You need it. You’ve been through hell and the first thing you need to do is take care of yourself. A lot of girls skip this step because they are so afraid of being alone. But essentially, your life is about you not someone else. In times of dire need, put yourself first.
WARNING: This is the mistake which I find so many of my beautiful yet dim-witted friends tend to make – they rush into their next relationship. They go from being so broken and hurt and jumping into the nearest set of open arms they can find. NO. Do NOT do that.
Now is the time to reinvigorate you and your life. I think we can all admit to the post-breakup self – she’s a lot more pale, a lot more bitch and a lot less fun, no one really likes her, so how can you expect someone to date her? Boys will want to date the real you, not this zombie that survived your post-apocalyptic breakup, so it’s time to really invest some time in yourself.
The following are some of the things I found that were really helpful in getting your life back on track and really moving the focus away from the past to the present:
1) Dinners with friends (add in a couple of bellinis)
2) Hitting the gym
3) Reading a couple of books (Hunger Games!)
So, once you have successfully eliminated all that negative bullshit, and returned to your fabulous self, then it’s up to you when you want to get back into dating. This final phase has no real instructions, you make the rules! However bad your past relationship was, remember that every mistake we make is an experience – so use your past to shape your future. Get back into falling in love with life and someone will soon follow afterwards.
Take my broken heart advice, you won’t regret it.