Arguing Hurts Guys Too

Have you ever left an argument with your significant other frothing mad over the way he treats you or over something dumb he pulled randomly? Did you return that treatment with a severe tongue lashing? Good for you, you stood up for yourself. But do you ever wonder if you ever cross the line? Guys are usually on the edge when they date a girl.  And well, it is amazing how the opposite sex can be just as sensitive and tender as our own delicate and feminine hearts.

Male feelings develop at the same rate as us females but they are taught by society to withhold and constrain them. Men don’t usually leave a relationship and have a good cry. But they sure want to express their emotions.  They grow up adoring women and wanting to be good, strong men so they can achieve the perfect relationship, too. It’s just that society frowns on men showing any emotional needs and rewards guys that don’t care enough.

To get to know your guy and to get him to open up to you emotionally, try to observe him carefully. Don’t always assume they mean what they say, and vice versa. You have got to let small things go and reward him for the big stuff and this includes every time he makes you smile and feel good about yourself. And remember, no guy is going to admit they are sensitive. They are going to crack lewd jokes and make fun of girlie behaviours. I’m not telling you to go after the jerks. I’m saying this for the ladies that are dating, thinking of dating and those that are in a relationship.

Don’t go too far in telling your man off when he does ridiculous things. Remember his sweet side and filter out all that bad language you may want to throw at him. Being a lady is never saying anything too insulting or making any comments that she can’t take back. Let me give you some examples of really hurtful comebacks and the parallel comment that has more tact:

“I hate you”………..”What you’re doing/saying is really affecting me in a negative way”

“You’re the worst thing that happened to me”………….”We started this relationship for a reason, do you remember why?”

“Hit the road, loser”….…….”Can you leave, please?”

An acceptable come back is one that is neutral. An even better way is to come up with a sound argument. Once you find that correct and justified argument, tell him and then leave it at that. It’s tempting to fly off the handle once, enough is enough, but you have a relationship.  He is also another person with thoughts and feelings. Don’t send him a barrage of hate texts, either. This will just amplify the fight, making it harder to reach a resolution later on.

Arguing is a great way to get to know each others boundaries. Remember to forget the ultimatums. You obviously want to be with him too, so don’t play Russian roulette with the one you love. Try instead to be nice to someone that’s nice to you.

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