Advice

Can a Fling Turn Into The Real Thing?

So you’ve been seeing a guy recently, and everything’s going great so far, but you’re left wondering if it’s actually going to go somewhere. Although it may be hard to tell if things will get serious, there are a few things you can look at to give you some clarity.

What do you think he wants?

First off, try to take a look at the situation from his perspective. Do you think this guy expects more from the relationship than just a good time? Does he have a reputation for dating a lot of girls, or has he always been a girlfriend kind of guy?  Has he indicated in any way that he wants the fling to get a bit more serious? Chances are if he hasn’t, then it isn’t likely that he wants the relationship to go any further, at least not now. More importantly, do YOU even want this fling to become something more? If you really and truly aren’t looking for anything serious, then the relationship is going to stay casual.

Do you even want this to be more than a fling?

Other than your own expectations, you should probably take a minute and think about how this relationship makes you feel. Are you having a lot of fun with him, or do you feel like you’re just biding your time. Just because you’re having a lot of fun doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll both eventually commit to each other. If you’re not having a good time with him at all, then the relationship won’t go any further. Also, do you even feel ready for commitment? You could be really busy at the moment, or you may just not be optimistic about where things are going. Whatever the case may be, your own attitude can affect where this relationship will go.

Can you lock down a commitment?

Now if you’re looking for things to speed up a little, you should avoid pressuring him into an actual relationship, and instead focus on hinting that you want to spend more time together. If that seems to work, and it doesn’t scare him off, then that’s a good sign that he may want things to progress between you too. Try to spend more time with him gradually, but keep it light and casual, you wouldn’t appreciate it if he tried to pressure you into doing something you weren’t comfortable with either. If you’ve been spending lots of time with him, and you still feel like you aren’t getting the commitment you want from him, then you could consider telling him straight up that you want an actual relationship. It may not be subtle, but at least you are being honest about your feelings. If none of this works, then you should accept the fact that this was never meant to be a serious relationship, and perhaps move on and find someone who does want to commit to you.

Now whether you’re in a serious relationship or not, just remember to have fun, flings are meant to be easy and carefree, not a source of stress. The right guy will eventually come along, and you’ll know for sure that it’s the real thing!

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