Not every marriage lasts, but that doesn’t mean that the only consequence of a marriage ending is that a family must be torn apart. Though many arguments can be reconciled if you try, sometimes forcing yourselves to be in a relationship that hurts you can end up causing more damage to your family than you realise. Two happy parents who love their kids and work together to be parents, even if they live in separate homes, is better than two who fight and make each other miserable. Making divorce less ugly will be hard, but for the sake of your children, you need to get through it without too much upset.
Talk it Through
The first step to any reconciliation is communication. If you and your spouse are beyond working it through together for the sake of your marriage, then it is time to put divorce on the table. The only thing that matters at this point is how you can smooth out your relationship to be great parents together. This will mean going to events together, planning things together, and even travelling together. You will be in each other’s lives for the rest of your lives because of your children, which is why talking it through and finding a way to be amicable together beforehand is crucial.
Put Your Children First
Unless your spouse’s behaviour is appalling or dangerous, in which case an immediate divorce and even further legal action might be required, the next step is to separate. If you are amicably choosing to divorce, you will need to stay separated for at least two years before the divorce itself can go through. Use this time to work out a schedule with your kids so that they can be accustomed to the changes, and so that you can find the best way to be joint parents. This will mean taking turns and sharing responsibilities, yes, but if you really want to be there for your kids, try to plan one thing you two can do together as a family. This could be going to the movies once a week. What matters is that you put your kids first after a divorce, and put any animosity behind you.
Make the Proceedings as Simple as Possible
If you both come to the decision to divorce mutually, then all that is left is to contact your lawyers. This is known as an undefended divorce, and it is relatively straightforward and simple to do. Usually these divorces occur after adultery, constant fighting, desertion, or separation. In certain circumstances, you might not even need their consent to divorce them, as is the case if you have been separated and living apart for more than five years. By hiring lawyer, you can further simplify the process by having the legal proceedings taken for you. As a parent, this is a necessary step, as both you and your partner need to agree on matters of childcare.
There are always complications when it comes to divorce. Your children might not understand why you two aren’t together anymore – especially if you seem to get along well during your family outings. The only reason why this is an issue is because it is not the norm. You can have a strong family bond without being married, you just need to put effort in.
