Advice Male Perspective

The Male Perspective: Finding Your Dreams Again

As we grow older there is a tendency to accept our lives as they are and to stop striving to reach our hopes and dreams.  It happens as we face disappointments, obstacles and other telling us that we need to come to terms with the way our lives are.  While it’s important to have a sense of pragmatism the pendulum seems to have swung far too much in that direction to the point where we don’t even dare to hope that things could be better.  All of this can be traced to the fact that many of us have given up on dreams we had harboured for years, but stopped trying to achieve in even the smallest of ways.  By doing so it has taken the light and wonders out of the world and resulted in a kind of dull gray passing of each day.  Yet, it doesn’t have to be this way if we in even a small way try to reach for one of those hopes that we held close to our hearts.

To do so though requires remembering what those hopes and dreams were; with the passing of time they may have been forgotten.  So the first thing that you need to do in order to remember is to find something that will jog those memories.  If you had a diary you used to keep or old things from your childhood or teenage years go through them.  Read and study them and try to put yourself back into the mindset of your younger self to remember who you once were.  Sometimes the smallest thing can jog your memory and it may even be something you can draw inspiration from.

After you’ve remembered what some of those hopes and dreams are you need to really start to think about why you gave up on them in the first place.  Was it someone who actively discouraged you, an obstacle that seemed too overwhelming or just a lack of confidence in yourself?  It is vital to figure out why things happened the way they did if you want things to happen differently this time.  Look at the approach and methodologies you once employed to try and make your dream come true.  Perhaps they were too limited and you needed a more creative approach.  With just a little thinking you might find that you’re able to make that unrealized dream come true now.  Also, if you’ve been experiencing people actively discouraging you take a look at what their motivation is so that you can decide if what they’re expressed has merit.  Sometimes that kind of criticism can help lead you to another way for achieving your dream.  However, if you feel it’s coming from a different rationale talk to them to try to understand why they’re so actively discouraging you; coming to such an understanding can help immensely in moving your life forward.

The next thing to consider is whether a hope or dream from your past is still something that the ‘you’ of today still wants.  Obviously you may have changed a great deal over the years and may not be quite the same person you were.  So you need to decide if trying to go after a past unrealized hope or dream is something you really want to do.  However, you need to carefully ensure that it is a case of you actually not wanting to achieve a hope or dream anymore rather than a case of lack of confidence in ever achieving it.  If you find yourself still lingering on a past unrealized dream than it’s likely you still want to achieve it, but are afraid it’s not possible to do so.

If at this point you decide you want to go forward and try to realize your unrealized dream you need to accept the fact that it may take some time.  All too often we have a tendency to want instant gratification and expect things to be resolved quickly.  Unfortunately, experience has shown that often many hopes and dreams are something achieved over time.  So be patient and start looking at how others achieved their hopes and dreams that are similar to yours.  The methods that others used may not be completely effective for you, but there are usually some universal lessons you can learn from.  Take what you’ve learned from others and try them out.  If the first method doesn’t work try another until you find a variation that helps to achieve your dream.  It may take small incremental steps towards your dream in order to achieve it, but eventually you’ll get there.

Lastly, don’t get down on yourself as long as you’re continuing to try and make your hopes or dreams come true.  Even if all you’re doing are a couple of minutes here or there to realize it, that’s a little bit closer to making it a reality and brightening up your life.

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