Un-friending Your Friends

It is always hard to admit there is a problem with a relationship, especially when it is between you and a dear friend. Your friendships may not have the intensity and commitment that romantic relationships do, but that doesn’t make it any easier to end a friendship. In fact, sometimes it can be harder then ending a romantic relationship.

We always stress the importance of loyalty to friends. Friends don’t cheat on you or fight with you like a boyfriend does, but it doesn’t mean you have to remain friends.

There are many reasons someone is a bad friend. Maybe they talk behind your back, or maybe they’re simply irresponsible and did something to upset you, thinking they can get away with it. Whenever you tell someone about your “bad friend” they suggest that you should cut all ties with them. But how do you break-up with a “good friend”?

There is no good way to end a friendship. Ending a romantic relationship can be justified if infidelity is involved or lack of communication. Breaking-up with someone doesn’t necessarily mean you hate the person, you just might not love them the way you should love your boyfriend. After breaking-up with a guy there is always the possibility of being friends. But what happens when you are telling a friend you no longer want to be friends?  What comes next? You are basically telling them you do not want them to be a part of your life.

There is no rulebook. The only thing you can do about not wanting to be friends with someone is to tell them the truth. Tell them what bothers you and why you feel this way. Maybe that person will understand where you are coming from and will want to change how you feel; or maybe they won’t. In any case, you will eventually realize that ending your friendship was the best for the both of you.

There are friendships that fall apart naturally. People lose touch or have a falling out, giving them a reason to never speak again. People change and so do their relationships with others. Maybe you won’t be mad at this person forever, or maybe in ten years you will run into each other and feel differently.

The strongest friendships are between people who can grow together. Space, time and distance shouldn’t matter if you are true friends. You should always be able to pick-up where you left off. Friends should not feel obligated or guilty. Friendships should be honest, accepting and open to changes. You already fight with your family and significant others, you should not be fighting with your friends too.

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  • Adoreatrisk Lopez
    August 3, 2012 at 2:57 pm

    =( I totally just had a “falling-out” (hate the term) with my bestie. I’m hoping its more of a time-out but sometimes you gotta trust the crappy hand Fate might have dealt you; over a fight and those are the worst sort of “break-ups”.