Advice

Is He Really the Right Guy for You?

I think this question is something of a hot topic in young women today. As much as you don’t want to admit it, you know you’re thinking it when that cute guy from work you’re seeing is suddenly getting really serious and talking about going up to the cottage with his parents this weekend.

So, I’m going to try and shed some light on this heavily debated issue – I know there are many different ways on how to view this question, so here’s mine.

I’ve always been a huge believer in happiness – no, not the forced kind but the real and sometimes, unexplainable kind. So, let’s say for example you meet a guy and he’s all kinds of perfect. Like, smart, good-looking, and loves his family kind of perfect. Offers to bring you soup when you’re sick and wants to stay in and watch the Bachelor with you over going out with his friends. He has everything that you know a perfect boyfriend should be, yet you don’t feel happy with him. You don’t get those butterflies when you’re waiting on a text from him and you’re not counting down the hours until you see him again. You just know that something isn’t right. This is what I mean by unexplainable happiness. Although this guy has all the right attributes that should be making you happy, and they do when you’re together, they don’t actually make you really happy. He doesn’t give you that kind of happiness that you’ve heard so much about in songs. It’s not the same, and I for one do not think we should settle.

As you can probably tell, this happened to me. Oh, he was wonderful, perfect even. But he didn’t make me happy in the way that I had felt with other guys before. That kind of happiness that can’t be explained from their gestures or their gifts – but that mysterious kind that simply radiates from just being with them.

I tried, I tried hard.  I tried to overlook my lack of feelings for him with the fact that he was treating me the way I should be treated by guys (I don’t have the best track record, to say the least). I was trying to convince myself that I was just being stubborn, that finally here was someone treating me the way I had always dreamed about. Yet, I couldn’t fool myself any longer. I wasn’t happy. I had confided in close friends who, funnily enough, had relationships that started like this – they weren’t as crazy as the guys they were dating were about them, but they stuck around a little longer and boom! Instant mutual affection. So that’s what that they told me – to stick it out for a couple more weeks and “eventually you’ll learn to love them”. I’m sorry, what? No. That is not how I imagined my relationship to be like. There was no way I was going to settle for someone that I wasn’t crazy about;  that didn’t give me that kind of feeling that the hopeless romantic in me had been waiting so long for. So I did what I thought was the right thing to do, and I ended it.

So ladies, this is what I want to tell you. Don’t go for the guy that buys you nice things or treats you like a princess, because that’s what a guy is supposed to do for you. Go for the guy that you can spend hours with without saying a word, and the guy who you can spend long summer days in his arms just enjoying each others company. Date the guy that makes you happy just thinking about him. Never settle for someone just because it’s convenient or easy. True love is hard, and that’s the kind that’s going to make you happy.

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2 Comments

  • Reply
    Sarah G.
    May 25, 2012 at 1:13 pm

    Great article, helpful

  • Reply
    Domina Chi
    May 25, 2012 at 8:18 pm

    Fantastic article! I definitely agree with the content; don’t just settle! Be with someone you are mad about, otherwise your feelings towards the person may become dull.

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