Advice Male Perspective

The Male Perspective: Summer Love Affairs

There really is nothing like a clear blue sky, a nice ocean breeze, frolicking on the beach, while everything is in bloom to suddenly jumpstart the dating scene, which can lead to some very passionate summer affairs.  Yet, how seriously should we take a summer fling; can it lead to a serious relationship, and why do so many of them seem to fizzle out by the fall?

It is perhaps the last question that is easiest and hardest to answer, which is why so many of them seem to wither away like the summer blooms in the autumn.  To respond to this question you must first look at some of the inherent differences for many people in the summer season versus the rest of the year.

One of the most significant differences is that most people find their schedules and competing demands lighten significantly in the summer months.  For students this is due to the completion of the school year in the spring; for workers these are the months when they go on vacation, and factoring that in many companies schedule their next product releases for the fall months when there will be a larger audience to see them and possibly buy their merchandise or services.  With more people away other competing demands are reduced and most people find themselves with a significant amount of free time, which they can use for more recreational and social pursuits.  Consequently, feeling freer than they have in months many people start reconnecting with friends, planning trips, and opening their hearts and minds to finding a romantic partner.  People in the summertime may be the most receptive they’re likely to be than at any other time of the year to a romantic relationship because this is when they’re the least stressed out.

However, by the autumn the school year has started up, workloads increase, and all those competing demands have returned.  A romantic relationship begun in the summertime did not have to deal with issues surrounding each person making time for their partner nor did they have to juggle their priorities in the way they will have to during the rest of the year.  Thus, each person has to make the decision of how important and viable the relationship is, and how much they wish to continue with it because by the fall months the couple will have to work at it to make things work.  When a romantic relationship is begun at other times of the year all of these questions are answered much earlier on, but the summer months allow each person to put off making any decisions until later on.  By the time they reach September all of the potential hurdles to a serious relationship are faced all at once rather than gradually over time.

Naturally the question to ask is how seriously and how much should you invest in a summer relationship?  That really depends on whether or not you and the person you’ve been dating have started to discuss how you’ll handle things later on when both of you have to return to work or school.  The more each person is willing to talk things through, and the earlier on that it happens, the greater the chance that your relationship could become a long term one.  Each of you at some point need to make the other aware of what everyday life is like for you during the rest of the year and what some strategies each of you can employ to make sure that you each set aside time for each other when life is a lot more stressful.  You also need to look at how practical a long term relationship will be.  If you each met each other while you were on vacation halfway around the world you may have to accept that neither of you are willing to permanently move to the other’s country in order for the relationship to continue.  Of course, you also have to figure what each of you really want; it may be the one or both of you are not looking for anything long term and if that’s the case you have to decide if that’s something you’re ok with or whether you should move on.

In the end, the best advice when it comes to a summer love affair is to keep an open mind, to communicate with each other honestly, and just enjoy it.  Nothing says that it has to lead to something long term and sometimes it’s the memory of that passionate summer love that can get you through some difficult times in your dating life later on.

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