Advice

How To Get Him To Commit

Are you dating a man? Have you been in a relationship for a while, hoping to be given that diamond ring following a romantic proposal and thinking to yourself “Why hasn’t it come?” It happens to many of us women: we attach ourselves to a man; invest our time and hearts in him, and yet he still feels slightly beyond our reach. We start making excuses for why he isn’t showering us with the love and attention we crave. I’ve got some valuable information for you to whip your man into shape and to get him to commit!

If a woman really understood a man’s makeup, she would probably be more successful in securing his promise. First and foremost, before you expect a commitment, you need to know how a man operates; if you don’t, you will continue to fall for his tricks and games over and over again. Taking some lessons from Steve Harvey’s Book- Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man– Women want affection and they need to to be  their emotional needs to be met with intense passion; they also need to always be respected and valued. A man’s love is still there, but shown in a different way. He is more direct and modest, not flowery and over the top.

Men respond in different ways than women do; a man normally  seeks  to fix the problem as quickly as possible in order to  avoid confrontation. So, rather than having a long drawn out talk about your “feelings”-unless it keeps you from leaving- dealing with a man on your terms, can get you exactly what you want. My advice is: be sweet, but not too nice. Don’t drop everything for a man; make him wonder where you are and what your doing. Focus on your dreams, and priorities in life. Stay busy and active. And maintain your friendships! This will also give you more for the two of you to talk about, rather than focusing all your energy on him, where he is and having lack of trust towards him. The right man shouldn’t want you to give up your Thursday nights with the girls or that softball game on Friday’s, iff that’s what you did before him; he has his favorite pastimes, too.

If he calls or texts a lot, don’t always respond immediately. Make him feel that you have a busy life too. After all, it’s all about give and take. We women hold the power and men want what they can’t have, they love unpredictability; hence the art of Playing Hard to Get.
Confidence is beautiful.  Always remember to be confident and do what makes you happy in your relationship. And most of the time, this may involve you putting yourself first. A solid relationship is about bringing two WHOLE people together to form a unity.

WHAT DRIVES HIM

Men are driven by who they are (his title), what they do (how he gets his title) and how much they make (the reward he gets for his efforts). This is the makeup of a man and his main focus, if he doesn’t have these three things figured out, he’s going to be too occupied for the thought of commitment.

As he matures, his focus will be amplified on these same factors until he has reached his missions and goals. A man is not thinking about commitment, having a family and settling down if he lacks a plan or the resources to do so; he’s thinking about getting his life together. A man is the protector and provider, the head of the family. He wants to be the best and number one at something, whether it is his job or his family. He needs swagger!

This illuminates a man’s motivation: why he works late, watch’s his nickels and dimes, because he is being arbitrated by society on his station in life and net-worth. If he is not where he wants to be on the totem pole, that may elucidate his frustrations. He can’t be the man he sees himself being and the man you want him to be. He’s thinking about how to accumulate more income and attain a promotion or a sounder occupation.

Even though us women think we can build a foundation with them together, men beg to differ. They just aren’t built that way.
If he isn’t at the top and is motivated to pursue a higher purpose, encourage him. Help him organize and implement his plan-whatever it may be. When he reaches his goals, both of you will be happier. Standing by his side and showing him appreciation can be of great help to him. These two behaviors alone are very powerful. Also when you help him out, try to focus on his strength’s and all the postive’s, which include qualities that you admire in him. Don’t focus on the qualities that you dislike. When practiced, this behaviour will keep your relationship alive.

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