Rejection is a stab at the heart. Whether it happens from someone you had a crush on or whether it is a failed attempt at getting a job, it brings about a dark feeling of not being wanted. This article will focus on potential relationship rejection as there are many resources for rebounding from a failed job interview.
First, it is important to know that you are NOT alone. EVERYONE faces rejection, even the most seemingly perfect person you know. So, you were just rejected. So what? I’ll show you what rejection really means (and why it isn’t such a big deal after all).
There are many misconceptions about the implications of a rejection. It’s time for a reality check. There are several realities with which one must consider in unsteady and complicated times such as these:
Not everyone is going to like you (you really can’t please everyone, but at least you can please yourself)
Even the most perfect and popular of us all get turned down (it’s not the number of rejections they get, but how they handle them that makes them who they are)
There are a multitude of reasons to not be accepted (for example, it just might be that you remind him of an old flame with whom he had an ugly breakup with)
No one will remember this rejection, let alone hold it against you (even if your behaviour is the problem, others likely won’t notice, remember, or even care)
Maybe the two of you are just different (you maybe somewhat disliked because someone disagrees with you and doesn’t hold the values you cherish to such high regard)
It isn’t all black and white (things like this are made up of shades of gray. People won’t collectively love or hate you, it’s only natural for others to feel ambivalent about you)
You may do or say something that he doesn’t quite like (but this doesn’t mean he doesn’t also love and respect you)
Don’t dwell on these toxic thoughts (when you ruminate and try to find a solution to all of your problems, your collected negative thoughts crush your ability to come up with decent solutions)
Your friends may try to explain the rejecter’s behaviour to help you out, remember that these speculations are harmless (give those who are trying to help a chance, or you may end up pushing them away with feelings of desperation and hostility).
Now you understand how ridiculous it is to get overly worked up about these kinds of things, we can move on to how we can push past this dark time. As with the realities, there are seven things you can do to make this into a more positive event
- It isn’t personal, think of it as a matter of timing or a difference in opinions – don’t think that you’re no good
- Have positive thoughts and consider this to be a blessing in disguise, perhaps this will allow you to meet an even better person more suited to you
- Listen to the rejection, because this will tell you if you have a second chance or not (even try asking a question to understand why you were rejected and creatively come up with an alternate solution)
- Don’t beat yourself up, engage in positive self-talk and see to a bright future (do NOT drown your sorrows in food, alcohol, cigarettes or overspending)
- Have confidence that people will like you just as you are and that you are the best that you can be
- Know that everyone gets rejected
- And finally, try and try again (do not take rejection as a sign of failure, press on in your dreams).
Make sure you take time for yourself and do an activity or take up a hobby that you really like. This will allow you to forget, as it is not healthy to constantly dwell on these thoughts. Meditation and gardening are good examples of relaxing activities to calm you down. Rejection isn’t the end of the world, there’s always another day.