Advice

Frisky Ways to Spice Up Your Relationship

The passion of falling in love is always strongest at the beginning: the sense of discovery, the feeling that anything is possible, and that everything you ever wanted is right before you in the form of an adoring significant other. We at Secrets of a Good Girl believe that that feeling should never go away. Turn up the heat and up the sexual ante with these frisky ways to spice up your relationship:

1 – Shut Off the Silver Screen Dramas
Stop letting that box drain all of your attention. You’ve seen this episode of “Sex and the City” how many times now? Instead of “Keeping Up With the Kardashians”, how about you see what your man is up to? Unwind and give him a massage to help HIM unwind. Help get his mind off the screen and towards you. Once you two are locked on and invested with one another, a whole night of “anything-can-happen” bliss stretches out before you.

2 – Food for Thought (and Sex)
There are various culinary tricks you can take on to influence the body’s libido. Spicy foods get the heart pumping and the blood running. If you aren’t big on the heat, then seafood is also an erotic virtue. Oysters are known to elevate the sex drive and salmon can enhance the production of sex hormones. Other foods such as pine nuts have ancient tribal roots and were used to make love potions to increase libido and the like. Don’t forget dessert (if you know what I mean)!

3 – Spontaneity is the Best Policy
This works both ways (you inflicting this technique on him and he on you) and is often missing in relationships which soon go stale. Even if your routine is different from the general norm (doing it in bed, for example, would be the general norm), it’s still a routine. Don’t make it feel like a routine or a chore. How do you do this? Consider what you normally do with your man. Now, think of something completely different (but with the potential to be effective. Apply it.

4 – Pop Him a Sext and Get His Attention
Instill in his mind some erotic imagery through a teasing text. No time to be subtle, but don’t give it your all, either. Build up to that point, as you would if he were in front of you. This can be done anywhere – sexily on the sly. Do it from your office space (maybe even in the boardroom, you daring dame), the mall, the library – anywhere you wish. Be fun and flirty, then down and dirty. This casual day time sexting will build up your erotic anticipation for when the two of you are in bed that night. For more on this, check out some tips and examples.

5 – Warm Up to Your Partner
Warmer environments make for relaxed muscles. Think about it: When you’re cold, you’re tense and shaking uncontrollably. So don’t come home to an arctic of a house that will have you bundling up. Instead, turn the thermostat up to a comfortably warm temperature and climb into bed with your significant other.

6 – Partner-Up on the Track
Going for a walk? Don’t just take your dog with you, take your husband as well! Bring him on a jog, play a game of b-ball, hit the gym, strut your stuff on the tennis court – do whatever suits the two of you. Bodily activity increases the production of dopamine which in turn spikes up your sex drive. Exercise also produces endorphins (also known as the “feel-good hormone”) to boost your good mood and confidence. With all this in play, you are ready for some after workout sex.

7 – Dressed for Sex-cess
It’s difficult to want to dress up in something less comfortable than baggy sweatpants and an old over-sized T-shirt after a long day. Try to reach for something that will show off your figure. A nightgown, perhaps? Something that will radiate your femininity and make you look sleek, sexy, and womanly. How you look is important, but remember that how you feel is even more important.

8 – The Magic of Roleplay
Imagination is a fantastic thing. Not only does it come up with the solution to our problems, create amazing stories we’ve grown to love, but it also makes fun in the bedroom THAT much better. Maybe you want to dress up as a blushing French maid or perhaps your partner wants to do the schoolgirl routine? Whatever the deal, you should be honest with each other in regards to what the two of you want to do. Be open-minded, but don’t do anything that makes you very uncomfortable. This is about you as much as it is about him.

9 – Take the Scenic Route
The sex isn’t about getting it done, the sex is about the closeness between two people – the connection. Spending more time on foreplay (i.e. sexting or dirty talk) will increase the arousal and depth of the over all experience. Slow and steady might not always win the race, but what is there to lose? The two of you will feel like winners soon enough.

10 – Consider Your Determination
Bringing life to something that seems dead requires a lot of work and you have to be up for it. Just how determined are you to change the way things are? How willing are you to consider your husband’s eccentric bedroom ideas? All in all, communication is key and the two of you are together in this. He’s not a boss you’re secretly trying to impress for a promotion, he’s the man you love and you please him because you WANT to – and vice versa. Talk to each other and be honest, at the end of the day.

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