Forgiving the Unforgivable

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Posted by Secrets of a Good Girl in Advice

Forgive 150x150 Forgiving the Unforgivable

As a child, we learn the standard principles of how mankind operates. Children learn right from wrong, manners such as please and thank you, and using your words instead of a right hook to defeat your foe. But, most of all, we learn how to be the bigger person when life gets tough and how to forgive someone.

As we grow older we analyze the concept of these principles, and soon the definite line marked in ink slowly starts to fade and waver. The idea of forgiving someone in Kindergarten for using your favorite crayon seems to be a lot more difficult to apply when your best friend steals your boyfriend in high school.

What was once easy as a child soon isn’t as we gain knowledge of the world around us and embrace the different ideologies that society brings. Soon finding ourselves singing “where did all the good people go” as Jack Johnson once put it, reality seems to embrace it’s melody as it takes its tune.

Forgiveness, or even just the word forgive is a grade two level word to spell yet there is no standard or ranking to judge the difficulty it acquires to put it into action.

If this is so difficult what does it really mean to forgive? Let’s break it down.

Part one, For.

In the initial thought process of a girl, she thinks “For the time I wasted on you, why should I let you in again?”, “For all the distances I’d go for you, why would you betray me?”, “For the pain and suffering I have to deal with now, why did I ever love you?”, “For the way I have to move on and start over, why should I ever forgive you?”.

Part two, Give.

Don’t give in and feel as though you’ve crumbled, but give into the idea that things fell apart to fall into place. Give hope to the people who hurt you so one day the world will be filled with more people like you. Give healing to the broken-hearted so they can be renewed and strive for love once again. Give faith to the lost and unaware because you have seen and can now change the lives of many.

That’s what it means to forgive.

Now, all of these ideas may sound quite peachy but putting it into practice is more difficult. In life there can be instances where the world continually smacks you in the face. Four years, three months, two weeks or one day can be exhausting if the hurt is coming from a loved one. The idea that someone so close to your heart could break you or even someone who is genetically programmed to love you could for a minute or 18 years not show they care for you can wreck you. For someone with experience in this, I know it can eat away at you and later in life and become a problem bigger than you imagined. It can affect the way you operate in life which is perhaps apparent in a small dose now, but can grow to be a much bigger quantity down the road.

As a child we dreamed big dreams, had deep secrets and wild imaginations. We wrote it on paper, put it in a bottle and sent it off to sea. Unfortunately we can’t always be that little girl. That bottle can’t always keep in our deepest secrets or wildest dreams because one day the glass will break and you’ll come face to face with that letter.

Trying to confide in someone is a risk, especially after you’ve been hurt by people close to you. However, it’s part of a healing process and will allow growth to progress in your life.

I know it’s a lot to wish or pray for, but know that there are people out there like you and Jack Johnson who just couldn’t find them. By emitting a light through your eyes, actions and personality, your traits will become infectious and soon everyone will be that girl who let others find a way in their hearts to forgive and let go of burdens because you could.

So do it for the girl who feels broken and wants to break free, do it for the girl who parades around town with an award-winning smile from ear to ear yet inside a weakling breathes, do it for the girl whose had her whole life affected by one simple day. Do it for the girl whose heart was broken by love.

This is for the girl whose life can change starting today.

 


  • Eigan

    This is much easier said than done. Forgiveness can be a difficult hurdle to overcome. 

    Also, there exists an undercurrent and a prevailing notion that positivity is somehow a loathsome trait — to forgive is to abandon the past, to dwell on the positive, and to eschew that which is conducive to hate. For some reason, that sometimes gets construed as “foolish” or “bad.” 

    It’s an optimistic, feel-good piece. Positivity is Jello. To me, there’s always room for that. 

    Just know that there are good people out there.