What woman doesn’t want to find that perfect guy? That knight in shinny armour that will come along and rescue us from the jerks we’ve been privy to in the past. You know… that happily ever after kind of romance. If you’ve been dating long enough, chances are you figured out that the “perfect partner” we conger up in our minds will not always be exactly what we’d hoped for. With every positive comes a pet peeve or bad habit we’re going to have to learn to live with. However, as often as we try to change our mates into the ideal partner, have we ever stopped to wonder exactly what type of partner we are to them?
Ok…I know this is going to cause some frustration for some of the ladies as we’d all like to assume that we’re perfect. I mean they should be so lucky as to have us in their lives. Right? Well let me break it to you gently…we’re not perfect. And just like we’ve had our fair share of jerks in our past, I’m sure the guys have had a few “crazies” in their lives as well. So before we decide that we’re going to remake our partner into the perfect mate, maybe we ought to take a long hard look in the mirror and adjust some things on our end.
Here are a few things we might want to consider compromising on for our guys.
1. Nagging or Overly Emotional Conversation
One of the biggest pet peeves for men is a nagging woman. While women see it as nothing more than having a conversation, men see it as nagging and complaining. Sure you have to communicate in order to have an effective relationship, but keep in mind the differences between women and men. Men are not big on emotion and they’re also straightforward conversationalists, meaning they would prefer you to get to the point without all the extras. And the dreaded, “we need to talk”… unfortunately, that’s a red flag that they should get ready to hear the violins playing in the background.
Solution: Try to communicate with your guy in a matter of fact way. If they’ve done something that has rubbed you the wrong way, you’re entitled to say so, however, the manner in which you say it could be the difference between getting a response, and having your guy tune you out as you talk. State the facts, explain how it made you feel, and let him know what you might expect going forward.
2. Unrealistic Comparisons
If we’re honest, women must admit that we’re notorious for having these unrealistic comparisons of what the ideal guy should act like. Maybe you saw a movie and want your man to be just like the film, or you’ve seen a couple expressing their love on social media for each other and wish that your guy would do the same. Then you express these things to the guy you’re dating with the hopes that he will immediately cater to you the same way. When he doesn’t follow through, you instantly get upset.
Solution: Men (most of them) are naturally going to try and accommodate your needs (as their goal is to please you). However, when the bar is set too high it can become frustrating for a man and eventually they’ll assume nothing they do will ever please you. So, it is important that when you commit yourself to a guy that you are willing to accept him just as he is. Sure people change, and there may be some things he’s willing to do just to show his love and devotion for you, but trying to compare him to a guy in a movie or reality TV series is not the way to do it.
3. Expecting Him to Give Up Guy Things
This is a big one that can really make a guy go crazy. Some women decide that once their guy is fully committed to them, that they’re going to consume every second of their day. They want their guys to hang out with them and their girlfriends, go shopping at the mall, watch chick flicks, ditch the Friday night poker games, and even stop watching sports on Sundays. Unfortunately, expecting a man to give up doing “guy things” is not the route you want to take. While he may be willing to go along with your ideas in the beginning of the relationship, over time he may develop resentment towards you.
Solution: Relationships are all about give and take. However, if you want your guy to devote all of his time and energy to things you like, that is unrealistic. You have to be willing to compromise. Some ways of doing this include: having time apart (it’s okay if you have a girl’s night out without him around, just as he should be able to play poker or grab a drink with the guys without complaints) and try some of the things he likes to do. If you expect him to watch chick flicks with you on Saturday nights, then you should be willing to sit and watch NFL games on Sunday Ticket TV with him on occasion.
I didn’t want to overwhelm you by adding a whole list of things women could do to find common ground with their guys; however, these are the most common. If you can learn to communicate in a straightforward manner, stop comparing him to fictional characters (or other guys that don’t have his personality traits), and allow the guy to be a guy sometimes, I’m almost certain your relationship will last a lot longer. Remember it’s all about compromise and putting forth effort to make each other happy. If you give a little, chances are he’ll be more than willing to return the favor.